What follows is an extended account of the memorial service for Thomas H. Greer. It is rather lengthy as blog posts go, but there is a story to tell. For more on Tom’s life use this link to his obituary in the Austin American-Statesman.
On January 18, 2010, the family, friends, friends of family and acquaintances of Thomas Henry Greer, Ph.D., gathered in a service celebrating his life. It was a service unlike any I, or anyone else who was present, have ever experienced. The structure of the service, having been planned by one music teacher in honor of another music teacher, consisted of alternating carefully chosen music selections and narrative and was more like a production than a traditional funeral service.
To set the scene for you, let me begin by describing the atmosphere. The entry and foyer of the funeral home were decorated by displays of objects and photos from Tom’s life.
A table here displayed his Bachelor, Masters and Ph.D. diplomas in the field of music. A table there showed the American Bronze Star and French Croix de Guerre medals he was awarded in WWII, along with their citation documents and photos of the awards ceremonies as the medals were pinned to his uniform jacket.
On yet another table his trumpet and performance violin and on other display surfaces the violins he made by hand. Throughout the area were photos from his childhood through adult days; a young boy in west Texas, a soldier, a big-band member, a music teacher, a band leader, a husband and father. And scattered about…boxes of chocolates with a note to please take one or two pieces. Tom was always handing out chocolates to the point that he was dubbed a “human candy dispenser.”
Prior to the service an hour was set aside for a viewing. Those who came during this time saw Tom resplendently arrayed in his tux and tails, a red rose in his lapel, his ebony and ivory conductor’s baton in his crossed hands, the Croix de Guerre medal around his neck. During this time a slide show projecting images from throughout Tom’s life was accompanied by a soundtrack comprised of selections of his many recorded classical violin performances. While many people took this opportunity to bid Tom farewell prior to the service, many more used the hour as a time of fellowship, talking to family members and other of Tom’s friends.
The service began with a favorite hymn of Tom’s, “Shall We Gather At The River”, performed a capella by Vicki M. (I’m excluding last names in this account in an effort to protect the guilty.) Vicki, an accomplished vocalist and voice teacher, is sometimes referred as “Tom’s third daughter” due to her and the Greer family mutually (and informally) adopting each other decades ago. She remains one of my wife’s (Tom’s older daughter, Lindslee) closest friends.
Thereafter, family members spoke in turn about Tom’s life from growing up in rural west Texas to his time as a soldier in World War II; his years as a music educator; and memories of him as a father, uncle, father-in-law, friend. Each in turn imbued the audience with moments of laughter as well as poignancy, often coupled with tears.
Following the hymn, Tom’s nephew John Paul K. gave the eulogy which outlined Tom’s life in general. In this opening segment of the service the first of many stories about Tom were told. Tom, as John Paul said, was a story teller, and he proceeded to relate briefly a story Tom had told him about the time in WWII he and his Army band members parachuted into Germany…and on the wrong side of the lines. John Paul prefaced this story by saying that it was sometimes difficult to distinguish whether a tale told by Tom was a tall one or not. This quip brought resulted in laughter from the audience, which was entirely appropriate since Tom was always a jokester and loved to make people laugh.
The eulogy was followed by a recording of Ave Maria, a song performed often by Tom on violin accompanied by his daughter Lindslee on piano and daughter Dorian, or Vicki, singing.
The next to speak was younger daughter Dorian, who spoke of her memories of Tom the father and husband. Tom, she explained, was a collector of musical instruments, particularly of violins. Tom began collecting musical instruments in Europe during the war years. As she and sister Lindslee were growing up, the Greer home literally had instruments everywhere . Whenever he and wife Betty would go out to flea markets or antique shops, she would steer him away from any place where she saw displayed an abused violin, knowing that Tom would bring it home for revival. Tom later donated a substantial collection of instruments, some dating back to the Renaissance era, to his alma mater McMurry University in Abilene. In 1975 McMurry named Tom as a distinguished alumnus. Dorian also talked about Tom the performer. About how he would wrap the cassette recordings of his violin performances with a copy of the program on which he would write detailed notes about how he had played, how the audience reacted, whether he got a standing ovation. To introduce the recording of a violin piece he performed as the music that would follow her, she remarked that “Daddy would be proud that he was able to perform at his own funeral.”
Following Dorian’s selection of Tom’s music, his granddaughter Danielle was the next to speak and told the audience that she credited Tom with instilling in her a love not just of music and the piano, but also an appreciation of classical jazz. After the war Tom had been a member of one of the “big bands” that toured the country and played jazz music in sold out dance halls. Danielle also spoke of the recent Christmas Eve when her mother Dorian picked up the violin Tom had made for her forty years previously, and played along with Lindslee on the piano. “I played horribly”, Dorian said aloud, and laughter sounded again. As Danielle took her seat another memorable moment of the service occurred, one which elicited another round of appreciative laughter, when the opening words of her musical selection, the Ginger Rogers recording of “Cheek to Cheek”, began: “Heaven….I’m in Heaven” wafted from the speakers.
His daughter LIndslee spoke next highlighting Tom’s career as a music educator and his influence on her to study the Orff method of music education as a Fulbright scholar at the Mozarteum in Salzburg, Austria. She spoke about the final musical program at her school, ending a 32 year career as a music educator, at which she acknowledged that he was the reason she was there that night in her capacity as a teacher of music. Accompanying her students that night were other students of hers. Students she had taught years earlier, who were still studying music and had returned to honor her as a teacher. She related that after the program, her former and current students were surrounding Tom and in that instant she saw not only the culmination of a combined 72 years of teaching music, but also the past, present and future of music education. Her musical selection to honor her father was Dan Fogelberg song “Leader of the Band”.
This song provided the segue into the concluding speaker, Tom’s son-in-law Patrick G. Patrick spoked about Tom’s years as an Army band leader during WWII. He talked about the campaigns in which Tom’s unit was involved. He talked about the two major honors Tom received in Europe; the Bronze Star medal and the French Croix de Guerre (War Cross). He read aloud the conditions and requirements for each of the awards and spoke about the other campaign ribbons Tom and his unit earned. At the end Patrick said, “Tom, this is your last role call. As a veteran I salute you” and Patrick drew himself to attention and rendered the proper military courtesy, a salute. When Patrick was seated, the military honor guard present moved to coffin and waited as “Taps” was played by an Army bugler. Afterward the honor guard removed the American flag from the coffin, folded and presented it to his daughters, and retired to an alcove.
The service was over at this point. Jennifer, the funeral director, came to the front and thanked everyone for attending. She then did something I have never seen before at a funeral; she asked everyone to stand and give Tom a final standing ovation…and everyone did. Afterward she told us that she felt the service was so special and she felt so much of part of it that she didn’t want it to end.
As for me, the other of Tom’s sons-in-law, I had no active role at the service. My part consisted of helping put together the photos and music for it and creating this extended recounting of the service; these are my contribution to the celebration. Had I been among the speakers there are several stories about Tom I could have told but there is one in particular that fits, and that is the story of my meeting Tom for the first time.
In 1996 I was introduced to a wonderful woman named Lindslee on a blind date. At the time she was living in San Antonio and I was living in San Marcos and our second date was there. She asked me on that occasion if on our date I would mind going to her father’s 80th birthday party in Cedar Park, just north of Austin, and I agreed. When we arrived at Tom’s house the party was in full swing. There was a houseful of people with music and spirits, both mortal and liquid, flowing freely. I was directed toward a man holding court amid loyal devotees. He was wearing an Hawaiian print shirt with a Croix de Guerre medal hanging around his neck. A black ponytail peeked out from the back of the red beret atop his head. “This is my father, Tom Greer”, Lindslee said as I shook his hand. After meeting Tom I was then introduced to relatives on both sides of her family, which seemed to be every one of them alive at the time, and all of whom were in attendance for the occasion. After meeting person after person after person (after person) and watching Tom play the piano, trumpet and violin and regale the attendees with story after story, I found myself sitting on the curb in front of the house with a cigarette wondering what I had just gotten myself into (I smoked back then and needed one badly after an hour in this melee).
Well, needless to say I was admitted into Clan Greer and a majority of the people in attendance at Tom’s birthday party showed up again in June of 1997 when Lindslee and I were married. I can say truthfully that I have been enriched by being a part of the family and like all the others who have been invited in, have been enriched by knowing Thomas Henry Greer.
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